I can't jinx myself.
This entire campaign's been spent with success being the elephant in the room, and it's a good position to be in, but come on. I feel like the hero of a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta -- held back from what it is I actually want by some predestined sense of obligation. And the thing is, I want all of it. Maybe that's my problem.
I'm doing good work, and I know it, but I just wish I could rearrange things slightly. Campaigning on my own was bad the first time, but now it's just unbearable. I want to be at home. Or have her here. I'm really not that picky. All of these books I've barely managed to read tell me that the worst thing I can do is not be there for them -- either of them. And I already feel it happening.
Less than two years ago, the only person I had to worry about was me. And I was a miserable bastard.
Now I'm only part of the equation, and...everything shifts. I ache. I want to be there. For all of it.